December 25, 2010
I was driving with my 3 year old son in his child seat in the back of the car. When another car cut into my lane with very little warning, I yelled, "gadha" (ass (the animal, not the body part) in Hindi). I continued riving. In less than a minute, I heard a voice in the back seat say, "Gadha". Impossibly cute, my son was practicing this new-found word. Suddenly, it occured to me, like it or not, I am a role model every day for my son.
I recalled a shloka from chapter 3, that my Gurudev, Swami Chinmayanandaji loved
यद्यदाचरति श्रेष्ठस्तत्तदेवेतरो जनः |
स यत्प्रमाणं कुरुते लोकस्तदनुवर्तते ||३-२१||
yadyadAcharati shreShThastattadevetaro janaH .
sa yatpramANaM kurute lokastadanuvartate .. 3-21..
"Whatever a great man does, that alone other men also do; whatever he sets up as the standard, that the world (people) follows."
In every Chinmaya Mission Gnana Yagna on chapter 3, he insisted that the audience memorize this shloka and chant it loudly on demand the following day. At a cursory glance, it appears that Krishna was simply making an observation on social mores, an observation as true today as it must have been six thousand years ago.
Inevitably, people follow the tone and behaviour that the leaders of society demonstrate everyday in their lives. We see this in the way, sports stars or celebrities become a touchstone for behaviour, good and bad. This simply is the reason why we consumer products have brand ambassadors - Sachin Tendulkar for Toshiba, Frieda Pinto for L'Oreal, and Angeline Jolie is the Goodwill Ambassador for the UN Refugee Agency and why Nelson Mandela is revered several years after he retired as South Africa's President.
However, Krishna then goes on to add that:
न मे पार्थास्ति कर्तव्यं त्रिषु लोकेषु किञ्चन |
नानवाप्तमवाप्तव्यं वर्त एव च कर्मणि ||३-२२||
na me pArthAsti kartavyaM triShu lokeShu ki~nchana .
nAnavAptamavAptavyaM varta eva cha karmaNi .. 3-22..
O Partha, there is nothing in the three worlds that has to be done by me, nor is there anything unattained that should be attained by me, yet I engage myself in action. 3-22
यदि ह्यहं न वर्तेयं जातु कर्मण्यतन्द्रितः |
मम वर्त्मानुवर्तन्ते मनुष्याः पार्थ सर्वशः ||३-२३||
yadi hyahaM na varteya.n jAtu karmaNyatandritaH .
mama vartmAnuvartante manuShyAH pArtha sarvashaH .. 3-23..
If I do not ceaselessly engage myself in action, then men would in every way follow My path, O Partha. 3-23
Here, Krishna is discussing the flip side of being a role model.
The bad behavior of contemporary celebrities is played out in a thousand different homes everyday. Forget celebrities, just take your average kids TV show. Most Indian parents are shocked when their child talks back to them rudely (or as a smart aleck if we want to be charitable). As for ourselves, we seldom saw this growing up, so we almost never talked back to our parents or did it at our peril. However, our kids are exposed to talking back on a daily basis through every children’s sitcom on television, often accompanied by a loud laugh track. Can we blame our kids for assuming this is normal and maybe even cute?
Yet, whenever Gurudev taught this shloka, it never occurred to me that I might also be a role model. That experience with my son saying, "gadha" brought it home, loud and clear. In fact, we're all role model for someone, whether we know it or not. Our children, our friends, our neighbors are watching - emulating us in some cases, criticizing us in other cases.
For those of us who live abroad, it is routine to sometimes utter or listen to generalization, "These Indians..., These South Indians...., these Chinese...., these blacks...." all of these stereo types are based losely on someone seen indulging in a particular behavior. In some cases, such as with blacks, it becomes a wide spread racist stereotype.
Likewise, in any workplace, every worker at every desk is judged everyday by co-workers in terms of their language, their dress, their professionalism. Opinions thus formed, these take on a reality of their own and are often hard to change. Hence, if the boss is used to using bad language, everyone thinks its OK. A CEO who is eager to change the culture in the workplace must ensure that senior managers are role models of corporate values. Otherwise the culture will slide back to status quo very quickly.
So, the next time, you are frustrated with your child's behavior or that of an employee, look in the mirror. Is the right role model staring back at you?
Hari Om. Namaskaar until the next post.
I was driving with my 3 year old son in his child seat in the back of the car. When another car cut into my lane with very little warning, I yelled, "gadha" (ass (the animal, not the body part) in Hindi). I continued riving. In less than a minute, I heard a voice in the back seat say, "Gadha". Impossibly cute, my son was practicing this new-found word. Suddenly, it occured to me, like it or not, I am a role model every day for my son.
I recalled a shloka from chapter 3, that my Gurudev, Swami Chinmayanandaji loved
यद्यदाचरति श्रेष्ठस्तत्तदेवेतरो जनः |
स यत्प्रमाणं कुरुते लोकस्तदनुवर्तते ||३-२१||
yadyadAcharati shreShThastattadevetaro janaH .
sa yatpramANaM kurute lokastadanuvartate .. 3-21..
"Whatever a great man does, that alone other men also do; whatever he sets up as the standard, that the world (people) follows."
In every Chinmaya Mission Gnana Yagna on chapter 3, he insisted that the audience memorize this shloka and chant it loudly on demand the following day. At a cursory glance, it appears that Krishna was simply making an observation on social mores, an observation as true today as it must have been six thousand years ago.
Inevitably, people follow the tone and behaviour that the leaders of society demonstrate everyday in their lives. We see this in the way, sports stars or celebrities become a touchstone for behaviour, good and bad. This simply is the reason why we consumer products have brand ambassadors - Sachin Tendulkar for Toshiba, Frieda Pinto for L'Oreal, and Angeline Jolie is the Goodwill Ambassador for the UN Refugee Agency and why Nelson Mandela is revered several years after he retired as South Africa's President.
However, Krishna then goes on to add that:
न मे पार्थास्ति कर्तव्यं त्रिषु लोकेषु किञ्चन |
नानवाप्तमवाप्तव्यं वर्त एव च कर्मणि ||३-२२||
na me pArthAsti kartavyaM triShu lokeShu ki~nchana .
nAnavAptamavAptavyaM varta eva cha karmaNi .. 3-22..
O Partha, there is nothing in the three worlds that has to be done by me, nor is there anything unattained that should be attained by me, yet I engage myself in action. 3-22
यदि ह्यहं न वर्तेयं जातु कर्मण्यतन्द्रितः |
मम वर्त्मानुवर्तन्ते मनुष्याः पार्थ सर्वशः ||३-२३||
yadi hyahaM na varteya.n jAtu karmaNyatandritaH .
mama vartmAnuvartante manuShyAH pArtha sarvashaH .. 3-23..
If I do not ceaselessly engage myself in action, then men would in every way follow My path, O Partha. 3-23
Here, Krishna is discussing the flip side of being a role model.
The bad behavior of contemporary celebrities is played out in a thousand different homes everyday. Forget celebrities, just take your average kids TV show. Most Indian parents are shocked when their child talks back to them rudely (or as a smart aleck if we want to be charitable). As for ourselves, we seldom saw this growing up, so we almost never talked back to our parents or did it at our peril. However, our kids are exposed to talking back on a daily basis through every children’s sitcom on television, often accompanied by a loud laugh track. Can we blame our kids for assuming this is normal and maybe even cute?
Yet, whenever Gurudev taught this shloka, it never occurred to me that I might also be a role model. That experience with my son saying, "gadha" brought it home, loud and clear. In fact, we're all role model for someone, whether we know it or not. Our children, our friends, our neighbors are watching - emulating us in some cases, criticizing us in other cases.
For those of us who live abroad, it is routine to sometimes utter or listen to generalization, "These Indians..., These South Indians...., these Chinese...., these blacks...." all of these stereo types are based losely on someone seen indulging in a particular behavior. In some cases, such as with blacks, it becomes a wide spread racist stereotype.
Likewise, in any workplace, every worker at every desk is judged everyday by co-workers in terms of their language, their dress, their professionalism. Opinions thus formed, these take on a reality of their own and are often hard to change. Hence, if the boss is used to using bad language, everyone thinks its OK. A CEO who is eager to change the culture in the workplace must ensure that senior managers are role models of corporate values. Otherwise the culture will slide back to status quo very quickly.
So, the next time, you are frustrated with your child's behavior or that of an employee, look in the mirror. Is the right role model staring back at you?
Hari Om. Namaskaar until the next post.
Interesting analogy between the Chapter 3 Shlokas and Children emulating parents behavior.
ReplyDeleteTo Summarize the ideas
1) The masses emulate actions of Great men
2) Performing action is inevitable for all beings.
And sometime your actions have side affects whereby people tend to follow, sometimes blindly, what you have to say or do.
A good segue for a couple of points to ponder ...
-- Why do people follow others ? and why is it that only some actions are emulated and not others ?
-- Also do great men become great because they have a lot of followers ? Gandhi was great but so was Hitler if that definition is used...
we all have to constantly watch ourselves in every action- we become role models for children, even subordinates in office, and ofcourse to friends who wish to learn all the time and who depend on you for advice, guidance.
ReplyDeleteit is also extremely gratifying when you are informed that someone has modeled themselves on what you had advised or lived on- this spurs you on to continue to be a model every moment of our lives, little knowing who is watching, and who will follow.
Dear Bhaskar - good point about the positive feeling that one gets when someone says that they have modeled themselves on us, especially when we have been unaware of the impact we've had.
ReplyDeleteDear manan: thanks for the comment.
ReplyDelete1. It is this business of not knowing how we impact others that makes it critical for us to recognize that we do "at all times" and without choice on our part.
2. When many people follow a person, it is popularity - whether you count the number of followers on twitter or whether you go by opinion polls as our politicians do. Being great, however, is unrelated to the number of followers one has - thankfully, so.