August 2, 2011
There is a very interesting article on "How to Land Your Kid in Therapy" by Lori Gottlieb in The Atlantic. Since it was published two weeks ago, it has been among the the most popular articles.
Relevant quotes for me are:
यत्तदग्रे विषमिव परिणामेऽमृतोपमम्।
तत्सुखं सात्त्विकं प्रोक्तमात्मबुद्धिप्रसादजम्।।18.37।।
yattadagre vishhamiva pariNaame.amR^itopamam.h .
tatsukhaM saattvikaM proktamaatmabuddhiprasaadajam.h .. 18\-37..
That which is like poison at first, but in the end like nectar, that "pleasure" is declared to be SATTWIC (pure) , born of the purity of one's own mind, due to Self realisation.
Here it is clear that frequently true joy is born through the hard work of dealing with the duality of transaction सुख and दुःख, joy and sorrow.
मात्रास्पर्शास्तु कौन्तेय शीतोष्णसुखदुःखदाः |
आगमापायिनोऽनित्यास्तांस्तितिक्षस्व भारत ||२-१४||
maatraasparshaastu kaunteya shiitoshhNasukhaduHkhadaaH .
aagamaapaayino.anityaastaa.nstitikShasva bhaarata .. 2\-14..
Oh Arjuna, when the senses contact sense objects, heat and cold, pleasure and pain are experienced. They come and go, they are impermanent. Endure them bravely, O Bharata
In fact, Śrī Kṛṣṇa make the point very clear when he states in the next verse:
समदुःखसुखं धीरं सोऽमृतत्वाय कल्पते ||२-१५||
samaduHkhasukha.n dhiira.n so.amR^itatvaaya kalpate .. 2\-15..
That wise man who is not troubled by pleasure and pain is fit for immortality
Also keep in mind the huge gap that separates the outlook of todays psychologists from that of the Rishis. To the modern psychologist, ultimate or pure happiness is a chase for fool's gold. On the other hand, our Rishis (and most spiritual masters in all traditions) recognize that the journey towards pure happiness is arduous but achievable. That is the unshakeable conviction of the Upanishads and the Geeta.
Hari Om and Namaskaar until the next post.
There is a very interesting article on "How to Land Your Kid in Therapy" by Lori Gottlieb in The Atlantic. Since it was published two weeks ago, it has been among the the most popular articles.
Relevant quotes for me are:
Nowadays, it’s not enough to be happy—if you can be even happier. The American Dream and the pursuit of happiness have morphed from a quest for general contentment to the idea that you must be happy at all times and in every way.First, the flaw in the thinking that underlies the behavior described in the article. While colloquially parents are trying to ensure the "happiness" of their children, what they're ensuring is really pleasure. Gurudev addresses this when he talks about shreyas. Secondly, we have to keep in mind Śrī Kṛṣṇa's awesome definition of sātwik happiness or pure joy in chapter 18.
यत्तदग्रे विषमिव परिणामेऽमृतोपमम्।
तत्सुखं सात्त्विकं प्रोक्तमात्मबुद्धिप्रसादजम्।।18.37।।
yattadagre vishhamiva pariNaame.amR^itopamam.h .
tatsukhaM saattvikaM proktamaatmabuddhiprasaadajam.h .. 18\-37..
That which is like poison at first, but in the end like nectar, that "pleasure" is declared to be SATTWIC (pure) , born of the purity of one's own mind, due to Self realisation.
Here it is clear that frequently true joy is born through the hard work of dealing with the duality of transaction सुख and दुःख, joy and sorrow.
Paul Bohn, a psychiatrist at UCLA who came to speak at my clinic, says the answer may be yes. Based on what he sees in his practice, Bohn believes many parents will do anything to avoid having their kids experience even mild discomfort, anxiety, or disappointment—“anything less than pleasant,” as he puts it—with the result that when, as adults, they experience the normal frustrations of life, they think something must be terribly wrong.Here there is no better teaching that what Śrī Kṛṣṇa says at the beginning of his teaching:
Dan Kindlon, a child psychologist and lecturer at Harvard, warns against what he calls our “discomfort with discomfort” in his book Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age. If kids can’t experience painful feelings, Kindlon told me when I called him not long ago, they won’t develop “psychological immunity.”
“It’s like the way our body’s immune system develops,” he explained. “You have to be exposed to pathogens, or your body won’t know how to respond to an attack. Kids also need exposure to discomfort, failure, and struggle. I know parents who call up the school to complain if their kid doesn’t get to be in the school play or make the cut for the baseball team. I know of one kid who said that he didn’t like another kid in the carpool, so instead of having their child learn to tolerate the other kid, they offered to drive him to school themselves. By the time they’re teenagers, they have no experience with hardship. Civilization is about adapting to less-than-perfect situations, yet parents often have this instantaneous reaction to unpleasantness, which is ‘I can fix this.’”
मात्रास्पर्शास्तु कौन्तेय शीतोष्णसुखदुःखदाः |
आगमापायिनोऽनित्यास्तांस्तितिक्षस्व भारत ||२-१४||
maatraasparshaastu kaunteya shiitoshhNasukhaduHkhadaaH .
aagamaapaayino.anityaastaa.nstitikShasva bhaarata .. 2\-14..
Oh Arjuna, when the senses contact sense objects, heat and cold, pleasure and pain are experienced. They come and go, they are impermanent. Endure them bravely, O Bharata
In fact, Śrī Kṛṣṇa make the point very clear when he states in the next verse:
समदुःखसुखं धीरं सोऽमृतत्वाय कल्पते ||२-१५||
samaduHkhasukha.n dhiira.n so.amR^itatvaaya kalpate .. 2\-15..
That wise man who is not troubled by pleasure and pain is fit for immortality
Also keep in mind the huge gap that separates the outlook of todays psychologists from that of the Rishis. To the modern psychologist, ultimate or pure happiness is a chase for fool's gold. On the other hand, our Rishis (and most spiritual masters in all traditions) recognize that the journey towards pure happiness is arduous but achievable. That is the unshakeable conviction of the Upanishads and the Geeta.
Hari Om and Namaskaar until the next post.
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